Many students find meeting new people and making friends amongst the most exciting but also most difficult aspects of starting university.

“I expected to be able to easily get involved in societies, and found myself hiding in my room out of fear of meeting new people. From the moment I got here I wanted to be in the Film Club. I turned up to one meeting, and despite meeting very friendly and chatty people, I spent the entire time judging myself, wondering if I was doing it right, questioning whether I was convincing people I was ‘normal.” (Chris, former student)

Making friends can be tricky for anyone and at any time, but the first semester at university is a big period of change and adaptation and the social and routine-based aspects of autism can make things a little bit harder. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible, but as with so many things, it can just take a bit more work for autistic people and it’s easy to avoid getting on with it. Knowing how to meet new people is a great way to start.

“The first thing to remember about making friends during your first term at University is that you are not alone. We were all once at the stage where we felt that we were the only people struggling to make friends. This was particularly the case for me as I have Asperger Syndrome, which is a form of autism. This basically means that I have problems with socialising and making friends. Despite the challenges this presented me with, I now have a good number of friends.” (James, former student)

While students in the Autism&Uni survey told us that talking to friends really helped them when they were stressed, a lot of people also found that socialising was one of their biggest worries at uni and their parents and teachers agreed. It’s never going to be easy – there’s no step-by-step foolproof guide to making people like you – but we’ve got some practical tips to share.

It can be tempting to avoid doing anything outside the course, and that’s the route some autistic students take, but getting on with people (even if they aren’t your best friends) and taking part in activities outside your degree will help make university into a positive experience. There are also benefits for your grades – students who discuss their modules with others tend to get better marks. Not because they’re copying each other! But two (or more) heads are better than one at solving problems and finding new ways of understanding topics.

At the University of Suffolk we have the Suffolk Life Mentoring Scheme. The Suffolk Life Mentor Scheme allows students to network and support other students here at Suffolk. Your university experience will be greatly enhanced by having a Suffolk Life Mentor. They will show you what university life has to offer, and support you on your Suffolk journey.

Our mentors run fun, exciting, and helpful sessions for all students and staff throughout the academic year.

Our student mentors have run sessions such as:

• Spring Walk to Holywells Park
• University chill-out tour
• Group cinema trip
• Budgeting games
• Time Management session

All sessions are completely free, and a great way to meet new people.

Are you joining in September or February?

Sign-up now

Stay up to date with us through social media – join our Facebook group.

Further information on joining the scheme can be found in our introduction booklet.

Do you have any questions? Email us.

We asked people how they made friends at university. They told us:

• “I joined clubs, then got invited to hang out because I was such an interesting weirdo (that’s what I was told anyway)”
• “Through accommodation, then friends of friends”
• “Work (worked in the library), friends of friends (few people from school went to same uni), labs”
• “I went to the creative writing society & met some creative writing nerds”
• “Drinking” (this was a popular answer – interest in and tolerance for alcohol may vary…)
• “Most successfully, eventually finding group of ‘like-minded people’ (enviro activist group) – not that I liked all of them, but found people I clicked with in that group and it led to loads of other connections”
• “Went to Freshers Fair and joined about a million groups. Then realised it wasn’t feasible and stuck with rugby – mates for life!”
• “Was in Halls of Residence so was forced to hang out with strangers in shared areas. TBH, didn’t ever really make real friends” (it’s OK not to make real friends if you have friends outside of uni, but as long as you can get on with people and find people to do things with, it will be a less lonely experience)
• “I still know people from breakfast on day 1, also still very close with friends from re-enactment group i joined in Orientation week”
• “Being brave and talking to people in the endless queues. How I met my closest friend of now nearly 18 years”
• “After initial shallow talk-to-everyone-in-Freshers-week, neighbours in hall and shared interests (joined games, film clubs). Further friends-of-friends became my friends too. Longest lasting (30 years now) uni friendships came from shared interests/hobbies”
• “Lucked out with a few nice people in halls (well, 3) who introduced me to other nice people”
• “Lived in halls; approached nerdy-looking coursemates; met people from internet forums”
• “Course, Classoc, Gilbert & Sullivan, uni mag, uni radio, Jsoc. Halls were not my friend!”
• “Moved to halls of residence, kept door open, talked to people, got scared of all the middle class folk, found second year students. I took effort and will to do all that – was very shy and not very confident. In second year I stayed in halls and made friends more easily – then came out and made much larger new set by hanging round cafe”

You can see from that list that a lot of people made friends through joining groups related to their interests and several through their accommodation.

1. Does your university or town have a club, group or society related to your interests? (If not, your student union or adviser may be able to help you to start one)
2. If you live away from home, can you leave your door open when you’re in so people can see you’re happy to talk to them?
3. What treats could you share to start a conversation with your coursemates or people in your accommodation?

1. National Autistic Society social skills advice
2. An autistic guide to finding the right friends